I remember a friend telling me how proud she was that she accommodated all her SIL’s demands with their chumras over Pesach. She didn’t use this or that, not even for her unmarried kids…. I told her my SIL wouldn’t eat some things in my house, like things made with potato starch. And he was very insistent I shouldn’t make any alternatives or change my minhagim, he could see there was plenty to eat.
I thought my SIL was very respectful and hers weren’t. And he didn’t starve! (I did make some alternatives for him, because I wanted him to enjoy YT.) I certainly don’t think disrespect should be “rewarded”, but for sholom bayis I would let things slide.