zahavasdad,
Its much harder to make rules on children over 18 as you really dont have any leverage on them, they can just leave.
Why would I want to have “leverage” over my 18 year old child? That doesn’t seem like a healthy way to relate at all. And why are we treating adult children like they are immature teenagers?
I am guessing many people feel its better for their OTD child to be home friday night watching TV or surfing the web than hanging out on the streets and doing who knows what.
This seems like a false dilemma, because there is a whole continent of scenarios between being at home on a Friday night and being “on the street”. Also, I would certainly not disallow a child from my home because he doesn’t keep Shabbos, G-d forbid. At the same time, as the manager of a shomer Shabbos home, I can expect that no phones should be seen out and about. And as far as television, there would need to be a television in the home for there to be television watching. I’m not planning to buy one, and I don’t feel guilty about that.
I cant speak for anyone here, but if someone threw out their OTD kid for not dressing properly, using nivel peh and being Mechalel Shabbos and eating treif
So here you are not even responding to me anymore, because I have never suggested throwing a child out of the house for any reason.
and that kid went out and did Heroin and ODed and died , I dont know how many could forgive themselves
I don’t know about you, but my home is NOT a halfway house, and I am in no way equipped to respond appropriately to a serious drug abuse problem. If I think I can counter substance abuse with a warm embrace and an “everything goes” policy under my roof, I would not only be an enabler, I would be putting my child and everyone else in the home in serious danger. What if that kid G-d forbid ODed in his room, and a younger sibling found him in the morning? Or the dealer comes by the house to collect on his debts?