Joseph:
Bad news for you. The shaming incidents are not rare or tiny exceptions. I am stating fact. Painful, but true.
The reason things are not worse than they are is because of resilience. Many of our kids are B”H resilient, and tolerate these forms of abuse without traumatic effect. Include bullying, when the perpetrators are peers. When our kids make it, they are often angelic. Someone once quipped at an Agudah Convention, “Our kids come out okay from the current chinuch system not because of the system but despite it. That was stated from the microphone, and the speaker was not stoned.