Avram:
Your discussion of the two brothers was neither rational nor stable. It was pure sarcasm. That is one way of making a point when there is not one to make. Much of your commenting has been rational, whether I agreed with you or not. This was frankly bizarre. When I address the tolerance of the wayward kid, I never insinuated that we should withdraw support from a good kid for the OTD one. Your insinuation was a bizarre extension of my message. i would think you understood that.
Joseph:
I stand by my statements. I have had the occasion (not exactly occasional) to speak with mechanchim of all groups, persuasions, and affiliations. While most deny engaging in public shaming, nearly all justify it as an accepted, Torah compliant form of discipline. I have needed to confront rebbeim about this often. It was once quite dramatic, with extremely awful things being said. One rebbe I knew would punish a talmid by sending him to every other classroom in the building, standing before these other classes, and telling everyone that he was a bad boy. The laughter was horribly biting and painful. Thankfully, that rebbe has not been allowed in a classroom for many years now. Today’s shaming is less dramatic, but there is plenty. I can cite examples, and many of these involve multiple incidents, not just one. One rebbe was upset that a talmid returned late from recess (he had gone to the bathroom). The rebbe took him around to other classes, and told everyone to stop being friends with this boy, as he was a bad influence. That boy dropped out of yeshiva completely, with erroneous messages about his behavior history preceding him to every attempt to learn elsewhere. I know many kids who were taken out of a class with the announcement that the parents had defaulted on their tuition payments. The sending home issue is worth debating, and I defer on that. But the public forum for this is inexcusable. These were events that repeated many, many times, with different details. Sorry, Joseph, but the improvements in chinuch that richly deserve praise have only begun. There is a long way to go.