zahavasdad,
“Is the following an incentive or harm reduction. On friday night, the kid says I am going to hang out with my friends (And you know that means activities including smoking pot) or I am going to watch TV (Or Netflix or whatever).”
That’s a very unusual statement for a child to make. Would he really base his decision on what to do that evening based on my “permission” to watch TV or Netflix or whatever? Probably not. If the kid really wants to hang out with friends, would TV dissuade him? And if he really wants to watch TV, is this whole hang-out setup a threat of some sort? This doesn’t strike me as a realistic conversation.
And the specific boundary I’m talking about that TLIK thinks is so horrendous is disturbing the oneg Shabbos of the house – I don’t want a TV or laptop or whatever in my living room, in view of the rest of the household, for example. I’m not suggesting forcing a kid with his own 4G data plan to sing zemiros at my table, nor doing searches of his belongings.
“Which do you choose? Is it really an incetive to let them watch TV (Or Netflix on their ipad with 4g that you cannot control with the router) or harm reduction”
Sure sounds like an incentive to me – incentives and harm reduction are not mutually exclusive. I’d be interested in the age the child in this example is, in your mind. A quick price check on an iPad with an unlimited data plan (needed if the kid is going to stream endless Netflix over 4G) came in at around $100 per month – nothing to sneeze at. And that doesn’t include a phone,/phone line/taxes, etc. Netflix is $8 to $14 per month. We might be talking about a monthly entertainment cost of $150-$200 here. Where’s the dough coming from?