One thing that really bothered me about shidichum was meeting women who had a long list of deal breakers about the shiduchim but didn’t do research beforehand. So for example, there were more than a few women – as noted here – who for some reason think Torah study must always involve a chavrusa. Me, I had one chavrusah, most nights I studied by myself, listen to recordings, different stuff. But to them, that’s like eating traife. I don’t know where they get this. But OK, that’s your thing. Then before the date, before I travel 3 hours, do some homework and list all your hakpados and if you must, nix the date. But don’t waste my time. I think they get so spoiled by the dating process, by getting picked up and taken out to dinner, they just take it all for granted.
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