Just want to point out another point.
I think the reason you feel so turned off from Judaism is because you (rightfully so) expect a higher standard from our community.
The non Jewish world is empirically so much worse in all aspects it does not even come close.
it’s just that you don’t connect with them and you sort of expect it so your radar does not even pick it up.
People usually only sense anomalies.
So its actually a positive sign on the whole that you are so bothered.
But please don’t become turned off
Just from a pure logical position, what’s your alternative?
As another poster wrote
The Jews may not be perfect but the Torah is
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