I’m Baal Teshuva and studied outside of congregational Judaism for many years. Only 8 years ago did we join a Chabad shul and move into the “shtetl”. The selfishness I’ve seen is staggering for people who are supposedly “frum”. Typically the entire family including children are affected. Luckily the worst of them are about 25%.
The middle 50% are probably like us–working on conquering our Yetzer Hara with varying degrees of success. We at least recognize and repent of our evil behaviors although we may do them over and over.
The top 25% have changed their character sufficiently to be called decent folks with the top of these role models. I thank G-d for them.
I will tell you that you can move wherever you care to and never get away from this unless you care to live like a hermit. Even going OTD will not bring you peace since these behaviors occur throughout humanity.