Find a respected rav (or rebbitzen if that makes a woman more comfortable) with some professional training in counseling, domestic relations and family matters. As others have noted, we are fortunate today to have many rabbonim and rebbitzens with professional training and who are qualified to provide advice informed by daas torah. Trying to get an appointment with some chashuve rebbe and convey the facts of your situation in 5-15 minutes and obtain meaningful advice is a joke.
