Reply To: Redting a shidduch with a previously married guy to a never married girl

Home Forums Shidduchim Redting a shidduch with a previously married guy to a never married girl Reply To: Redting a shidduch with a previously married guy to a never married girl

#1554329
Midwest2
Participant

This is a very dangerous situation.

A. You have to know why the guy is divorced. Maybe it was just a major-league mismatch, and maybe he was abusive. How will you find out? Divorces are like football matches in a way, everybody takes sides and defends their team/friend, so it’s difficult to find out what actually happened, doubly so if there was abuse. Why is this man looking for an unmarried girl? Perhaps because he thinks she’ll be naive enough not to know if he’s being abusive? The girl should be very, very careful.

B. Being married is a different planet. Until you actually get married you have no idea how closely you’ll be involved emotionally and practically with your spouse, and you have no idea what’s important and what isn’t. He’s asking for trouble, because he’ll risk getting misinterpreted all the time.

C. Why does this guy want a girl who’s never been married? Besides what I mentioned above, is it just a status thing for him? Has he got psychological issues?

This is not a place for people with realistic expectations to go, and if they do, they should do some serious couples counseling first.