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Hi, I’m from the Reader’s digest.

I’m looking for a Shulem Lemmer that just landed a great music record deal. Anyone know where I can find him?

Oops, who still reads the Readers Digest, and why would an actual celebrity hang out here? Sigh. Gotta get to the REALLY important stuff. I’m too serious to go the comedian route. And the 9 days are almost here.