Reply To: RH is MIL’s first Yahrzeit…how should we adjust traditional celebration?

AviK
There were grandchildren at the seudah table last year at the time of death who are now aged 4-22.
Literally, one of the nurses came to the table from my MIL’s bedroom and asked Mrs. CTL and myself and our adult daughters to hurry in to say goodbye. She was niftara within 3 minutes of leaving the table. The grandchildren were certainly aware of what happened. The youngest were bundled off to the house next door with my DIL’s in charge. The older granchildren remained in the house and attended the mais or said tehillim. Motzei yuntif the mais was removed for tahara and burial the next morning.

At Pesach, a couple of the 5-8 yer olds asked who was going to die this yuntif and end the meal early. One even asked if we could move the afikomen ransom up to the beginning of the seder. None of the kids have gone into what was bubbe’s suite since. We’ve completely redecorated and turned it into an office. No one would feel comfortable sleeping there.

One of my great grandfathers died when I was two. I don’t have many memories of him, but he didn’t die in the house when I was there. I was in CT and he died in a Brooklyn hospital at age 103.