Knaidlach,
1. Is it is a chiddush to you that people who keep all kinds of chumrot in some areas fall in others? Rav Kook, in fact, said that if a person keeps a chumra that is not appropriate for him he will cause a spiritual imbalance which will in turn cause him to fall elsewhere.
2. I wrote that it is a safek. That means that there are different opinions. Did you look up my source? I posted a link to Hebrewbooks.
3 The statement about Calev is aggadata and we do not leanrn halacha from aggadata. In fact, Rambam says in his intro to Perek Chelek that all aggadatot are metaphoric.
4. The Kitzor does not say that one asks the dead just that they do it – on their own accord (@Laskern, ditto Rachel).
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