CTL:
Involving a Rav or BD before the civil divorce is common practice. The issue otherwise is the arkaos question. I assume that your approach does not minimize or negate the BD process at all, and involves resolution of the affairs via negotiation rather than litigation. Under this scenario, I don’t question the process you use, but understand it as just an alternative.
In reality, few cases get to actual litigation (I refer to NY), and end up being negotiated with lawyers and toanim, etc. I have yet to encounter a BD that does not ask whether there has been an attempt at professional intervention, and in the absence would not proceed until such an effort was undertaken. In fact, a classic delay tactic used by either spouse is to block efforts at proceeding to a get by claiming to want “shalom bayis”. It is common, and occurs even in cases of severe abuse and infidelity (and is more often than not the tactic of the culprit). The concept of a halachic pre-nup is to avoid such charades.