@Joseph
You have written that you work in the NYC Public Schools. I would expect you to know that ‘equitable’ does not mean equal. It means fair and even handed.
If the female wanted representation is a stay at home mom and dad is a big earner equitable would have him bearing the brunt of education costs.
I get prospective clients coming in and saying they want to economically destroy their soon to be ex spouse.
I won’t participate in that type of action.
My basic rule of thumb when speaking to long term marrieds (more than 15 years) seeking a divorce (as opposed to responding to an action filed by the spouse) is that if you are not willing to give half of assets to your spouse I’ll not represent you. This has nothing to do with support orders, alimony, educational, medical or custody. Those can be negotiated in an equitable manner. CT has very good child support guidelines which are adjusted for income.
Spouses with children are cautioned that the marriage may be ending, but the parenting continues and they must learn to get along and behave civilly towards each other. There will be simchas to share in the future and even the costs of these can be negotiated into the settlement.