Time4Truth:
Not any deeper, and I will never succumb to walking it back. Sorry, but a neshomoh is too precious to discard.
Now, let me disclose that I have been working directly with OTD kids for many years. I know many, have helped many, and have been connected to many others who work with them. The Torah attitude to שמד is to sit shiva and disassociate from them. Not the person who is a baal aveiroh. There is a huge movement of kiruv rechokim, and there is a far smaller movement of kiruv kerovim. And so many have returned to shmiras mitzvos, established themselves as members of the community, and have families that are a source of pride and nachas to their families, Klal Yisroel, and HKB”H. They reacted to events and situations in their life, they had their nisyonos, just as we have ours. I cannot judge them, only recognize that they are experiencing something tragic, whether it is the negativity of what they underwent, or whether it is the poor choices they made in reaction. If you query these kids, they are not running away from Hashem. They are escaping the torture of their experience with us adults, and this is the way they chose. I am not justifying their poor choices. I am looking inside them. When I can see their pain, when I can feel their anguish, when I can feel their loneliness, I achieve a place where I can reach out and connect. When I cannot get into that space, I am not obligated to do anything, and that is not the Ramban’s “Arur”. Refer to Mesilas Yesharim (Perek 20) regarding the mitzvah of הוכח תוכיח.
Have you ever spoken to one of these kiruv kerovim professionals? Try it. Learn something. These are troubled kids, not bad ones. They are usually harmless, though self-destructive. Allowing them to encounter the consequences of criminal behavior is part of their growth. I am not the one who wants them to rot in jail. But to learn a lesson is a good thing. Now, we must ask, does that empower us to punish? My answer is simple. When we possess the access the all the relevant data, we can do that. And knowing whether this is a weakness of character and spirit is part of the calculation. We repeated that message countless times in our tefilos on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The tefiloh written by Reb Elimelech to recite daily before davening details this quite well, so you can look in a siddur without the need to dig out the machzorim.
Now, I won’t backtrack. Every word I said was sacred and correct al pi Torah.