“CS: Where does that leave frum women who aren’t looking to marry a Kollel guy (or there aren’t any Kollel guys available for them)?”
Depends on their values, but I would agree with you that (at least many) women dislike generally outdoing their husbands. Hard to respect and lack of respect for a husband does not a good marriage make. So it depends if a) they actually do earn a lot, and if they do b) can they find a man who makes as much or more or c) does something that they value more than high income.
Some men also don’t like their wives making more btw. They don’t feel like the provider and protector of the family in that case. Others could care less.