Four generations of my family lived in NYC from 1868 until my parents decided to make a 75 mile move OOT in the early 1950s. They chose a city with a yeshiva, day school, mikveh, many shuls, kosher bakeries, butchers, delis and restaurants. My mother did remark that there was only one appetizing store. My older siblings were born in NYC, but I was born OOT.
My parents found that NYC outer boroughs were becoming ghetto like with the settling of the remnants of frum European Jewry. Growing up they had lived in mixed ethnic neighborhoods and buildings and they wanted their children raised in a mixed American community. This was important as we were expected to be professionals who made our living from the populace as a whole. The family was proof that we could live the American dream, live outside an exclusively Jewish enclave and remain frum.
My grandchildren (and my siblings’ grandchildren) are now 7th generation frum Jewish Americans. Our localities no longer have the plethora of shopping and dining choices as the Euro-Traditional Jews who supported them have died out and their non-Frum children no longer kept kosher out of habit (as opposed to belief) as their parents and grandparents did.
All of our children and neices/nephews spent some time in Yeshiva or seminary in NYC. None wanted to settle there.
Personally, I would not want to live in a high rise apartment of 5 or 6 rooms or a city house that is only 12 feet from my next door neighbor’s wall.
I like being close enough to go into the city to shop or attend cultural events, but not have the hassle of living in a city of 8 million people.
When I read the complaints in the CR about the school buses parking streets, or neighbors who have illegal curb cuts, fake garage doors, etc. I say who needs the hassle. If I never rode a subway again, I would not miss it.
OOT we have a true feeling of community, all Jews make an effort to get along and respect each other’s differences.
As a young married, I belonged to a shul that was composed of two shuls established in the late 1880s who merged in the 1950s. One was a Litvak misnagid shul, the other Lubavitch, but not chasidim (they were families who came from that town in Russia and davened Nusach HaAri. The shul put the Litvak name first and used the Lubavitch siddur and followed their calendar.
I started attending minyan each morning and the shammos started asking me to daven for the amud. I explained that I did not daven that nusach. He said to me: I’ve watched and see you daven from a Tikun Meir nusach Ashkenaz…that’s frum. Go to the amud and daven from your siddur, no one will object. I refused the honor and said I’d check with my father and Zaideh. They both told me, in your own seat use your own siddur, but for the harmony of the kahal, from the amud daven with the shul’s siddur. You will not be betraying your minhag, but honoring the shul’s.
OOT is not for everyone. My children’s spouses are all OOTers. I don’t know if a potential spouse who was dependent on picking up prepared food at will, and being a short walk to most of his/her relatives and friends would have wanted to make the change. I know that my children did not want to make their lives and raise their families in NYC.