The age gap theory makes sense number wise, but it is not the only contributing factor, and sometimes it feels that those promoting it are ignoring other issues that also need addressing- and these are not side issues. So people who are not going for the age gap theory are not in denial that there is a shidduch cirsis, or however you want to define it, they are just being more open to other valid explanations. If every single boy was married and only girls were left, then the age gap would explain it all.
But…
The fact is that there are plenty of older boys not married as well. The age gap does not address this fact.
The fact is that older singles do get married (not all, but a lot) but not until their 30s perhaps, meanwhile suffering for years, and losing out on a family they could have had. The age gap does not address this fact.
When I started dating nearly 3 decades ago, the boys also had lists of girls that outnumbered the boys 10:1, there were unmarried older singles, and this was before the population explosion.
Why does it take so long for some people to find each other? As ubiquitin stated, what part of the process is going wrong? Is the problem in the networking, getting the right names? The actual dating process? The attitude to dating/marriage? For different people, there will be different answers. We need to figure out what goes wrong and how to solve it- better preparation, dating coaching, helping youngsters figure out who they are and what they really need in a spouse before they start dating, improved networking- especially for OOTers and those who wouldn’t be getting redt shidduchim otherwise, maybe making use of databases.
The good thing about all this discussion, is that it shows that people care and that singles should not feel ostracized or alone.