Knaidlach
1) of course one can. My point is I don’t believe that one can write off the negative side of instruction and still be effective. I don’t believe there are answers that suffice. And your comment as posted in that order seemed to reinforce my point. So I wasn’t taking you to task. Rather pointing out from your comment, that it can’t be done. Sorry if it came across too forceful.
2) understood. Valid point
3) OK misunderstood
4) valid to a point. There are times when necessary. When you have let us say a teenage child who resists desisting from a specific negative behavior, and constantly depends themselves with the same tripe, there comes a time when a parent can and should sit down with the child and say shayfeleh, you know what. Let’s have a discussion. You will tell me why you do this and I will explain why it’s wrong.
I will give you opportunity to say whatever you want and we will do it over ice cream in the ice cream store. No anger no yelling and no punishment for your beliefs or feelings. But I will clearly explain why it’s wrong.
In that setting , there is nothing wrong with proceeding to do as I did which is to shred every argument so they have to admit even for a moment that you are correct and they are wrong.
Of course you can only do it if you are actually correct.
But it’s an illustration of the debt that most things, even supposedly negative ones, have a place in a parents arsenal