Syag ,
You quoted me as saying
”For example:
. Let’s have a discussion. You will tell me why you do this and I will explain why it’s wrong.
think about that as an opening line of a conversation with ANYone about ANYthing. Not very inviting, not very validating. ”
Now while that pull is totally accurate, it’s clearly ignoring the context.
Go back and look where it was placed
When you have let us say a teenage child who resists desisting from a specific negative behavior
, and constantly depends (SHOULD HAVE SAID DEFENDS) themselves with the same tripe,
there comes a time
when a parent can and should sit down with the child and say shayfeleh, you know what. Let’s have a discussion. You will tell me why you do this and I will explain why it’s wrong.
I will give you opportunity to say whatever you want
so let’s reconstruct
We are responding to a question of when a child has not responded to most or all other methods, and you have already gone through the issue verbally many times. The child knows you don’t agree with their position. What you are now doing is saying, shayfeleh, let’s sit down and I will explain to you why I am telling you what you need to be doing.
Yes I am telling you.
I am your parent and you need to listen to me no matter what.
But I will gladly explain it to you rationally as well.
And I am even willing to explain to you rationally why your position is wrong even had I not been your parent. However yes, underlying it all is the context of, I am your parent and you need to listen to me because that’s what the Torah says.
As to your comment on staying in bed all day….
OK I was to terse.
I meant to say
When a child knows that there is ultimately no real negative outcome to their actions, In their terms (remember a thirteen year old doesn’t always care that they won’t learn what’s being taught if they don’t attend school), then they will just do what they want. Ultimately leading to a very spoiled adult tree used to doing what they want without thought of consequence.