Avram
”One more thing klugeryid, if your hypothetical child is indeed so disrespectful to his parents that he would sneak into their room to take back his books, then what’s to say he won’t respond to being hit by hitting back? And once that becomes a possibility, it’s halachically forbidden to hit him.”
Firstly it was a random example, not an actual case so don’t sit and nitpick it.
Secondly even in my example I didn’t say the kid sneaks into your room
You put the book back into the bookcase, or he takes a new one. You have a whole family, you going to take away all their books because of one child?
I never said you smack a child for reading. The question was he is not going to daven in the morning. Does that EVER warrant giving a smack. to that I said yes. Not that your first line of parenting is to smack him. But it’s not something which can never be done.
I’m sorry if I didn’t list off the thousands of different ways of parenting besides smacking in my posts,
as you said, ”Asking is a shorthand way of saying that the first step is to try and connect with the child.”
So to I say, those parenting strategies I mentioned are a shorthand way of listing the global entirety of relationship based parenting as well as reward based parenting.
Only I didn’t ruffian myself with writing shorthand and expecting others to decode it.
No I actually spelled it out clearly multiple times.
Seems when one wants to ignore something, it makes no difference how clear it is.
Again I am approaching the question as a purely hypothetical query. Comprised of two parts.
Namely
a) is hitting a valid component of the chinuch toolbox.
And
b ) is it applicable nowadays.
There are posters on this thread who unequivocally say no to both
I say that a) is an absolute yes. Backed up by mikra ,mishna,gemorah, and psak.
B) is still a yes but majorly curtailed from previous generations as evidenced from the many quotes brought here by tlik.
Is that clear enough?
I’m not advocating beating children, nor am I viewing parenting as a transactional relationship.
I’m not even commenting on my general parenting strategy (excepting one specific comment I made)
Just laying out the facts.
The application is of course where it gets tricky.