“In most shuls, the hierarchy of awarding kibbudim is almost always an unwritten hybrid policy of the chiyuv of individuals per halacha, the “status” of the individual in the shul’s/minyan’s informal ranking of daveners that often goes beyond just member/non-member and in many cases, the mood of the gabbai at a particular point in time. ”
In our shul, there is a written policy. I dont recall it exactly but i think that chiyuvim get precedence — but members over non members over guests etc. Something like that. It makes total sense. Im sure feeling may have been hurt at some point – but the Rav estabished the protocol and wrote it down so all the minyanim would be consistent.
“I don’t think it’s about the kibbudim. It’s about feeling welcome, noticed, and a part of the shul.”
I think thats 100% correct. Giving someone a kibbud (guest, newcome) acknowledges their presence in a concrete way. The same can be done by announcing the presence of the preson. This really depends on the shul. In Brooklyn, Lakewood, Monsey , Israel — there are som many shuls and so many guests — that it would be unreasonable to expect that the Gabbai or Rov would notice them. Out of town shuls — or my shul (which is not out of town) people would notice you and ackonwledge/welcome you. (I should say that recently i was in Monsey — i dont even recall the name of the shul — but it was pretty big — and many people came up to me after davening on shabbos. Very nice).