@Rebbitzen
I made no mention of taking food. It is only proper to take food not for yourself if it is to feed an elderly or infirm adult who is unable to do so, or a parent putting food onto the plate of a young child who should not be taking it him/herself.
These types of kiddushes with the heavy cooked food are not the norm in our OOT shuls.
In fact I had a run in years ago with the Rebbitzen of my shul in my previous town. She was heard announcing to her 8 children that they should eat plenty at the kiddush, because she was not serving Shabbos lunch when they got home.
The executive board had a discussion with the Rabbi after that about this unacceptable behavior.
BTW>>>>unlike many shtieblach, our suburban synagogues do not have a shortage of seating space (or food). Attendees are generally members. Seats being saved at kiddush are so that a family may be seated together, not to get a seat while others have to stand.
It sounds like you attend a shul with ill-bred and ill-behaved people