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Snag Lachochma, in your own words “the funniest part is that he thought he could convince people he wasn’t a Chabadnik”. Putting aside your OCD about chabad (they are everywhere and control the world – every conversation leads to chabad), aside from that, you do imply that there were funny parts, by writing “the funniest part” is mashma that other parts were also funny but not as funny as the funniest. Yet now you complain of “too much litzones for comfort” – did you become uncomfortable? This too must somehow lead to chabad…maybe comfort has the same Gematriah as chabad. ..