“Women listening to shofar and davening maariv etc, but for individual chumras it does not apply.”
Women do not have a chiyuv in maariv according to anyone. Those who do so are encouraged to do it privately as an individual churah to avoid the situation you are describing.
I believe the M”B holds that women are over on bal gaavah if they wear tefillin, so it is unlikely to ever become a minhag.