An excellent rayah that we DON’T look at the onesh to gauge the severity.
Loshon harah does not have misah nor a korvon nor malkod you might think it’s not so bad.
So sichos mussar points out no it’s terrible.
Similarly hamlbin pnei chaveiro. There’s no onesh misah. No big deal, right? Wrong! It’s terrible keilu horgo!
Ai why don’t we gauge based on the onesh? Because while a good gauge and good rule of thumb. It isn’t absolute