@knaidlach
There is no ‘usual’ in 12 step meetings. These organizations have meetings that pop up all over and are run by volunteers. there are virtually no paid staff, they collect no dues and do not run by a set of rules/regulations.They are easily hijacked by the beliefs of the meeting leader.
Outside of the biggest cities they usually meet in churches. The attendees have addictive personalities. What the 12 step leaders do is substitute one addiction for a another harmful addiction. Many local church leaders see these meetings as a source of new recruits into their congregations.
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I often limit just how much I say about myself and am open about my opinions. My adult children are approaching the point where I plan to retire from the active practice of law in the not so distant future and they will take over my firm
In anticipation of this, and having seen so much heartache while practicing family law, I went back to school part time a couple years ago and have completed a degree and certification in couseling. As part of my required practical hours and internship I attended many hours of 12 step meetings as an observer and worked with addicts/alcoholics who attend. My comments here are anecdotal, but the details of the push to yoshke in these meetings is chronicled in my degree thesis with documentation.
Life outside the self imposed ghettos of the frum world is quite different. Most American Jews live outside these ghettos and we have an obligation to see that they are not led to yoshke while attempting to fight other demons.