IMHO, its both. Many times you have a shaddchan who is matching up two pieces of paper without knowing the individuals.We also have situations where the parents want one type of shidduch and their son or daughter want another. And yes the disposable society mentality doesnt help.I dont remember myself or my friends (we were all married between 1984 and 1990) needing “dating prep” or shidduch forums or ask the shaddchan forums. We were allowed to set up the dates ourselves without needing the shaddchan do it for us.
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