Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Preventable Marriage Disasters › Reply To: Preventable Marriage Disasters
I Actually requested YWN to remove this post after It went live because I realized that there are people that can feel hurt by my mentioning specific disorders. I ask mechilah of any person I may have hurt & request of YWN to either remove this post entirely or at least remove the sentence mentioning specific diagnoses. I acknowledge that there certainly are individuals who suffer from these & other disorders & who still maintain a stable home. My intention was about severely disabling situations.
I also know of people whose lives were ruined because they unknowingly entered a marriage with a mentally dysfunctional spouse & no one cared to warn them about it before.
At the divorce proceedings of one young woman (who nebach hasn’t remarried now 10 years later) the boy’s Rosh Hayeshiva berated her for rejecting his beloved dysfunctional talmid. This tragedy could have been avoided in my humble opinion if the right research had been done before the marriage.
Forget about trusting the references listed on a resume, they are the least reliable source of information. Use the references to find other unbiased people who will give you a true picture of the person. Roommates can provide invaluable information since they see the day to day interpersonal behavior of the person. I always ask the following question: Would you be comfortable with this person marrying a close relative of yours? the tone of the answer is very revealing. People aren’t offering bad information outright, we want to be positive about other Yidden & don’t want to hurt them. You need to ask the right questions to protect yourself.