Johnklets:
I am talking al pi Torah, not modern psychology. I will recommend you to peruse the library of authoritative compendia of mesoros from the great leaders of our current and recent generations. First, read what they say. All of them are far more knowledgeable of chinuch “al pi Torah” than either of us can claim to be. Check out what they say. Then we’ll resume our dialogue. Everything I said until now was based on my study of their positions, and often direct quotes.