Always_Ask_Questions,
“Of course, but people choose what to ask based on what they think is important.”
And people learn what’s important in Yeshivos and through living a Jewish life.
“There is a lot of stuff declared in this group that seem to deserve a shaila –”
Like whether to skip kaddishes normally said during davening?
“taking a lot of free food, taking welfare, not learning profession, not wearing masks, going to mass events. In many many cases, it is not clear whether the person asked a shaila, and sometimes I inquire what was the answer and almost never get a straight answer.”
So here’s the thing – many of those types of shailos are very personal, and the psak very much depends on the circumstances of the one asking. To demand someone say what psak they received may be asking too personal a question. When I was newly frum, I once tried to ask a shaila in a very general, theoretical way, and the rav eventually asked me a bit sharply, “what are you wanting to do?” Because the generality was a waste of time and introduced too much uncertainty into the shaila.
“you can still ask a shaila to convince someone else (say, me).”
Nah, that seems silly to me.
“As a friend of mine dragged his son (and me) to a posek in Mattesdorf with a loaded “question”: when his son is playing soccer and the father is going to mincha – should he continue playing or go with his father? it was supposed to be a great less in kibuf av – until the Rav suggested to the kid to break from the game for several minutes and daven mincha right there.”
I think you have misjudged that situation and ascribe much more negativity to it than there was. Perhaps this is due to unfamiliarity with Orthodox Jewish life. Kibud av v’eim is an extremely important mitzvah, and issues of kibud av most certainly deserve a shaila. And it’s not for the father’s kavod, but for the child’s benefit that it is so important. But I don’t think that was even the thrust of your friend’s shaila. Davening is a crucial part of chinuch, and based on the Rav’s response, the issue was that the child was not davening mincha at all, not the kibud av aspect. For a child who has had the chinuch to daven to stop davening is actually a big deal, and I think the father acted very appropriately by bringing the son to a big Rav for guidance, and working out a compromise.