Someone who is upset over open violations of basic Torah law being done by someone who looks like a member of the community, without knowing whatever circumstances led you to this behavior, is not being judgemental. I’m sorry to be blunt – if you’re committing sins in full view of others, that is very different from what you do in the privacy of your home, it is a chillul hashem in the literal definition of the term and if someone cares about the Torah they will not readily be silent. Whatever reason you may have is not my business or anyone else’s; what is their business is that you’re doing something antithetical to Hashem’s will right in front of them, “in your face” type of thing.
Think of something you care about… what would you do if you saw a person hurting a child? Would you stand idly by and say “it’s his choice, I’m not going to judge”. “If someone was screaming racial slurs, would it not bother you enough to speak out? When it’s something you care about, you speak up – as rav chaim brisker used to say “when it hurts, you scream”
That doesn’t mean that everyone who rebukes you is doing the right thing. Often rebuke is fueled by less-than-holy motivations of knocking down others to make one’s self feel better about their own lack of self esteem.
Judgementalness is to judge you – or anyone else – as either being a tzadik or a rasha. Has anyone called you a rasha? If they have, they are mistaken. It is not in our ability to judge individuals, but we are obligated to judge actions and to stand up for kovod shomayim when applicable. One who does not protest chilul hashem is held accountable, as “silence is like admission”.
Hashem should help remove your pain and trauma and help you do teshuva shlaima, as you are his beloved daughter, the same as all of us.