Avram, I would strongly suggest he fulfill his obligation to love his wife or else consider finding a different wife he can love. Remaining in a cold marriage is not an option, and it is definitely in violation of halacha to not love your wife.
Anyone who lacks a cheshek to learn Torah and is not motivated to grow in learning should likewise absolutely not continue the path of kollel learning. We’re all for as many people as possible to learn full time, but there may be a significant number of people who are in the wrong occupation if they’re not committed.