Reacha would apply equally to all jews – in theory, halacha requires no more love to one’s wife than to a begging vegrant, if he’s Jewish. All the lofty ideals of marriage and what it’s supposed to be like – ishto kegufo, etc, are real and important. Marriage needs a lot of things; trust, for instance. Is there a halacha that one is obligated to trust one’s wife? There isn’t. I never said one should not endeavor to love one’s wife – if you value your olam hazeh and olam haba, this should be high on your priority list, but i do not like creating halachos when there are none.
“It says in mishnah torah” – where? Where does any halacha sefer say that a man is obligated to love his wife?
Indeed, when one fulfills the obligations of kovod, shear kesus veonah, those mitzvos lead to a loving marriage. Ahavah comes from “hav”, to give; the more one gives his wife, the more love there will be. That’s beautiful, but again, we are violating bal tosef jf we invent a mitzvah just because something is important.