Love is not automatic. There is a cause for love. By recognizing His greatness and benevolance leads to love Hashem. Loving our friend is because of our connection to each other as we are all children of Hashem, avechad lekuloni, we all have one Father. Loving a ger is because of our suffering in Mitzraim as a ger thereby recognizing his suffering. Loving a wife is because of her behavior and deeds. If it is just physical, it is temporary and will not last.
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