“And the Gemara at the beginning of the second Perek of Kidushin applies the aforementioned Pasuk of ve’Ahavta l’Re’acha Kamocha to one’s wife, and there is an argument to be made that it is the Ikar Kiyum of the Pasuk.”
I nearly fell over in my chair reading this. The sefer hachinuch in mitzvah 243 does not even quote veahavta in regards to one’s spouse at all. He goes through all the maamarei chazal and how the mitzvah applies. He even refers to it in the header as “the mitzvah of loving yisroel”. I think a much clearer pshat is that the gemara used reicha as an asmachta, since raus is connected to marriage in tanach “rayasi, yonasi”, etc, and of course you are no less obligated in veahavta with your wife. The rishonim and achronim who discuss veahavta barely mention it in regards to one’s wife in particular. It’s klal gadol batorah, the guiding principle of all interpersonal relationships and skills. It is not just about sholom bayis. Please learn the basic sources before coming up with wild and anti-halachik conclusions.
“No time to look up details now, but the Rambam Paskens that it is a Chiyuv”
Please see my above diatribe where I explain the rambam very clearly.
Commonsaychel – you’re speaking to my point. It shouldn’t be an issue because if you’re having a torahdig marriage, there will be love. I felt however, that it’s important to dispell the “there HAS to be” misunderstandings that are common in such discussions.