Ujm:
Perhaps you haven’t encountered this yet. But virtually every Askan, therapist, Dayan, and to’en have. The couple are living a life that is on a crash course, and that all efforts to resolve differences have failed. One or both has made it clear that they will never agree to make changes. A similar scenario is where there has been abuse of whatever variety, and the victim will never be able to feel safe. These marriages are over, and the array of professionals including Rabbonim are certain of that. Now, wife approaches BD, requesting a gett. Husband counters that he wants Shalom Bayis. With all recognition of technical Halacha, what’s correct? Sadly, such situations are not rare. The position asking for Shalom Bayis is just another form of abuse. Trouble is that Halacha is not flouted here to help this woman become an almanah. But all the expletive labels are appropriate for him.
I repeat my earlier quote. לא חרבה ירושלים אלא בגלל שהעמידו דבריהם על דברי תורה. When one exploits Halacha to personal advantage, particularly in the case of cruelty, we have a no goodnik causing churban.