One can be dati, shomer shabbos, kashrus, taharas hamishpacha and even a gadol btorah and not be chareidi. There are many giants of Torah among the torani leumi crowd. Being dati has nothing to do with politics.
Being chareidi doesn’t mean being ultra religious or closer to hashem. It means subscribing to a specific perspective and community.
And as members of a family, there can be disagreements on what is ideal. That doesn’t undermine anyone’s religiosity.