I hate to say it, but this post and another from a few months ago really seem to be expressing an urge to associate with irreligious Jews. As has been pointed out, we all know “neuroatypical” (to use the new expression) individuals who live in the community and who are known to be such; they can’t exactly hide it. Try davening at different shuls; you’ll find people who have autism if you look hard enough.
I had a friend in high school who was missing his left hand due to a birth defect. Everyone knew but he was still a normal part of the group; he didn’t walk around with a t-shirt that said “I’m disabled” – instead he taught himself, somehow, to play basketball (he was actually quite good) and other things… He didn’t want his identity to be defined by his disability, and he was successful at doing so.