amom – much Hatzlacha to you. Almost 30 years ago, my wife and I found ourselves in a similar position. The conclusion was that it was time for me to leave Kolel and find a job so that we could support ourselves.
I spoke with my R”Y, Rav Yisroel Belsky ZT”L, prior to taking this step. He told me then that what’s more important than when one leaves Kolel to join the working world is the attitude one takes when leaving – i.e., does one continue to place one’s obligations to Torah and Yiddishkeit at the center of one’s value system, or does one push it to the side to pursue the American dream. I’ve striven to make sure that, while fully active in the professional world, Torah comes first – I’ve continued to be Kove’a Itim since, including, while still in the US, still showing up in Yeshiva for morning Seder on Sundays, since I did not have work obligations then (Sunday afternoons were reserved for doing things with my family – they deserve some attention too, after all).
Much Hatzlacha to you, whatever way forward you ultimately choose.
an Israeli Yid