GH: Not sure what you define as a marriage or a family, but I’d set the bar a bit higher than just engagement in procreational relations. There are plenty of people that share core values and life visions that would make them compatible to other people, were they willing to learn to respect others that may have minor differences than them, be willing to put in the work to communicate (as is necessary in every marriage), and not be hung up on their preconceived notions on exactly which boxes a spouse needs to check off to be considered a respectable shidduch (whether it’s familial wealth, prestige, parental employments, prominent pedigree, number of years learning, exact heights or physical profiles, exact acceptable occupations, exact backgrounds, or so much more).
When hopes and aspirations are code words and romanticizations of unrealistic entitlements and expectations, then yes, people should grow up and be ready to work themselves to build a life together and to learn to respect others instead of waiting for everything to be delivered on a silver platter.
Physical and intellectual attraction is also overblown. You need to find the person pleasant looking and to spend time with, and can’t think of them as revolting or an idiot, and you need to be able to respect them. However, you shouldn’t need a model or a trophy spouse, neither physically nor intellectually, nor should they need a prestigious position or to have a venerated reputation as top of the line in whatever society in your circles aggrandizes. He or she doesn’t need to be the king or queen of the world to be king or queen of your world.