amom, I think I agree with your evaluation that girls are less prepared because all that is required from them is to have enthusiasm. But then, I disagree with your implications: you first say that girls are not prepared for the hard path, and then that not enough girls got enthusiastic about this path. This may be the issue with the chinuch – a well-meaning teacher posits the goal of raising learners and wives of learners and the raising enthusiasm achieves the goal in the short term. If you were to teach them more seriously and having better expectations, you may end up with less candidates for full-time learners’ wives, but they will be more successful and the rest will choose the path that corresponds to their abilities.
As you imply, the teachers are “fighting” family influences. You seem frustrated that parents are winning too often, but think about all frustrated parents who not only have to pay tuition for their – and your – kids, but also need to fight for respect from the kids.
Halakha, as I understand it says: respect to the Torah teacher who give Olam Habo comes before respect to the parents who give Olam Haze. But in case of parents hiring the teacher, parents get the kavod as they are providers of this olam habo. And if the parent is also a teacher (and most modern yeshiva/seminary-educated parents are), they also get kavod first as they provide bogth olam habo & haze, even if they are not paying much of tuition themselves.