Reply To: The process of asking for money for a wedding

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#2112493
Ex-CTLawyer
Participant

@Avram in MD
The cost of loaning the money at no interest for home purchases was far less than the cost of an apartment in Israel. These were starter homes and our children put down 25% down payments that came from their earnings.
All paid off the loans within 5-7 years. When they sold and upsized, they did it on their own.

Why did MRS. CTL and I work so hard for our adult lives if not for our family?

We don’t support our adult children and grandchildren, they are professionals who earn good money. We paid for our childrens’ undergraduate educations, not professional/grad schools. We did not pay for our grandchildrens’ education. Yes, we have passed down the occasional old car and a couple of the kids stayed in our Brooklyn house (it was originally where my father was born 100 years ago) while in school in NYC. I stayed in my sister’s in Massachusetts 2 nights a week when I was in law school, big deal.

MY point is that unless able to earn a living a couple has no business getting married.

To get back to the point of this thread, those coming to minyanim to schnor wedding funds, I find it unacceptable. I’m a Justice of the Peace, I’d marry them for nothing in my office, enough frum Yidden there to make a minyan and I’ll break out a bottle of scnhaaps and kichel afterwards.

Weddings are overblown and overpriced.