One more thing. I know it has been discussed before, but can we please cut out out the idea of “if you can’t afford it don’t do it”. It is nice in theory but nothing to do with reality. Social pressure is is real. Very real. Anyone who creates it can just say “hey it’s not my problem. I am just doing it bec. I have the $”. If you make a simcha for $100k it puts pressure on the little guy to make a simcha for $50k. Mke one for $250k it just raises the bar for everyone.
You trying telling your kid-I am sorry but these are our values and you will need to suffer for being different than everyone else. I am not saying this specifically for a diamond engagement ring, I say this for everything.
Gvirim should even lower the costs for selfish reasons if nothing else works. Do you really want your neighbor or relative to knock on your door asking for tzedka bec. they can’t afford to make a wedding?