>>>They tell me things like: You should not be so picky!
(Do they suggest that I marry someone with whom I do not feel I will get along?)
“You might have missed your bashert!”
(Great! What can I do about this now?)
The above is the famous opinion of the Steipler . I know someone who asked those questions directly to the Steipler himself. The Steipler answered that after enough years of going out and not finding anyone who you think will work out it’s time to realize that this isn’t working. The person should have their parents find a Shidduch who they think will work for them. Meet briefly to make sure there is no major aversion and if not just engaged.
Note the Steipler did not actually give this advice to anyone that I know. He was talking in theory. In any specific situation he may have said otherwise.
But the point remains. A person reaches a certain point where their continued refusal to get engaged to anyone they are meeting makes the risk of an unhappy marriage because their parents will make the wrong choice smaller than the risk of their not getting married or their getting married in ten years to someone a lot worse than who their parents would choose for them now.