Pekak
You may be right
But up to a point.
Now to be honest, I have never said “don’t be picky” to someone. But I have had many coaching sessions where I was strongly trying to imply that.
And everyone has their cheshbonos.
The guy who is 50 and still looking for a supermodel (age 35 or less) , will certainly have his cheshbonos on why anything else will be settling. “And I just spoke to my rosh yeshiva, and he told me I dont have to settle”.
Or the girl, now 40, dating the same guy for the second (or third time) in 5 years. There isn’t anything wrong with him. She likes him. But she feels she can do better. Is it bullying for my wife to tell her “you are throwing away your last chance to have kids”?
I would argue not. I would say it is the greatest chessed to try and drill some sense into people.
There are plenty of people I no longer “red” shidduchim to based on what comes out of their mouth in terms of expectations. And I do not lose a bit of sleep over it.
