If what Huju wrote was totally false, it would have been Motzei Shaim Ra. I am calling it Lashon Hara because we are obligated to give the benefit of the doubt to the older singles. Failure to give the benefit of the doubt is clearly true about Huju’s comment. Besides, it causes other people to get angry. The fact that Huju decided to post again and probably make UJM even angrier just proves (to me) that Huju’s first post was also Lashon Hara and should never have gotten past the Mods.
Why stop at Toeva? What if they are addicts? What if they gamble away their money? If you are going to fail to give the benefit of the doubt, then there is lots more to worry about besides Toeva.
If you look at the OP, it said, “It is amazing how off-track many people are when they speak to me.” Huju’s post is a classic example of this.
Just for the MODS who apparently disagree that what Huju wrote constitutes Lashon Hara, here is Hilchos Esurei Lashon Hara, Klal Aleph, Halacha Gimmel: “All of these laws are relevant even if the speaker’s remarks were made in casual passing. But heaven forbid, if this person constantly talks about other people, like those people who routinely sit together, and talk about so-and-so’s doings, or I heard “xyz about so and so… And “Xyz” has a disparaging aspect, Chazal identify these people as Ba’alei Lashon Hara and their punishment is exceedingly more horrible than a casual speaker of Lashon Hara because these habitual speakers of Lashon Hara are contemptously and maliciously violating Hashem’s commandments. They have rationalized what they are doing and now see it as being perfectly normal and permissible as I explained at the end of the Introduction (in the third curse).”
Completely left out of the discussion of the Shidduch Crisis is the possibility that Lashon Hara is the source of the problem. Why? Because it destroys trust. And trust is a necessary foundation for marriage.
The advice I have for singles is to ignore the Huju’s of the world Show up to the first date assuming that the person you are dating is 100% Kosher and trustworthy. Then let them prove the assumption correct or incorrect.