> until the shidduch is signed-off on by the shadchan,
if this were the requirement, Yaakov Avinu would still be an older single … I actually saw a sefer referring a certain gadol who would refuse a shidduch unless thru a shadchan. At the same time, private advice I am getting from Rabonim with successful shiduch experiences if double-digits kenehora is …. “shadchanim did not work out for us”. Don’t know who to believe – a sefer or my own ears.