Aveira,
This obviously triggers your insecurities but there are countless charedi women in the working world who’ve gotten a solid Bais Yaakov education, including a great deal of Halachic knowledge and Yiras Shamayim. They have then attained professional careers since this allows them to support husbands in Kollel for the long-term. The fact is most of them have opted not to get jobs in Jewish organizations or schools because the pay and benefits there are lousy.
I understand you can’t process this reality but they’re not spending hours every day bashing entire groups of Jews who are different from them. So their ruchnius is just fine; its yours that’s broken beyond repair.